2011-12-01 / General Stories

Dating For Nine-Year Olds

As a mouse in our car, you would have heard the following conversation:

Thirteen-year old girl: I’m never getting married.

Dad: That will definitely save me a lot of money.

Nine-year old boy: Yeah, you just want to have a boyfriend, right?

Girl: No! Boyfriends are too much work.

Dad: Hallelujah!

Boy: Well, I’m gonna get a girlfriend.

Dad: Really?

Boy: Yep. And she’s gonna be pretty.

Dad: Wouldn’t you rather have one that is nice?

Boy: Well, she can be both, I guess.

Girl: Why do you want a girlfriend?

Boy: So I can go on a date with her.

Dad: What will you do on a date with her?

Boy: Well, you know, date stuff.

Dad: Date stuff?

Boy: Yeah, like kissing and stuff.

Dad: You know, dating is for getting to know someone to see if you like each other.

Boy: Well, I’ll do that first and then, in about an hour, we can kiss.

Dad: Good plan.

Girl: Good plan? That’s a terrible plan! Girls don’t want to go on a date just to kiss. You have to buy her a milkshake and take her to movies and stuff.

Boy: I don’t have enough money for that. Kissing is free.

Girl: If you don’t have enough money, you shouldn’t be going out on a date. You should be trying to find a job.

Dad: Can I get an “AMEN” to that!

Boy: I have $10.22 saved up. That’s enough for a milkshake.

Girl: That’s for only one date.

Boy: So? We don’t have to go for more dates. How much kissing do you think we can do?

Dad: Okay, where are you going to find a girlfriend who only wants to go on one date?

Boy: I’ll go on the internet... to a dating site.

Dad: You have to be 18 to use those.

Boy: Nope. Only 16.

Dad: Who told you that?

Boy: The guys at Cub Scouts.

Girl: I wondered what those boys did there.

Dad: So you learned about internet dating from a bunch of 9-year olds?

Boy: There was one boy that was 10.

Dad: I see. At least he had some credentials. Did this paragon of wisdom mention how to go about finding a girlfriend on the dating sites?

Boy: Yep. He said you have to look at all the girls and see which ones you like best. Then you ask them for a date.

Girl: What if they say no?

Boy: Anyway, I’m not gonna to do it that way.

Dad: Good. I think that is a wise decision.

Boy: Yeah. I’m just gonna put my face on there and wait till they come to me.

Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker. You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more info.

Return to top

Digital Edition

2011-12-01 digital edition

Today's Special Links