Dating For Nine-Year Olds
Thirteen-year old girl: I’m never getting married.
Dad: That will definitely save me a lot of money.
Nine-year old boy: Yeah, you just want to have a boyfriend, right?
Girl: No! Boyfriends are too much work.
Boy: Well, I’m gonna get a girlfriend.
Boy: Yep. And she’s gonna be pretty.
Dad: Wouldn’t you rather have one that is nice?
Boy: Well, she can be both, I guess.
Girl: Why do you want a girlfriend?
Boy: So I can go on a date with her.
Dad: What will you do on a date with her?
Boy: Well, you know, date stuff.
Dad: Date stuff?
Boy: Yeah, like kissing and stuff.
Dad: You know, dating is for getting to know someone to see if you like each other.
Boy: Well, I’ll do that first and then, in about an hour, we can kiss.
Dad: Good plan.
Girl: Good plan? That’s a terrible plan! Girls don’t want to go on a date just to kiss. You have to buy her a milkshake and take her to movies and stuff.
Boy: I don’t have enough money for that. Kissing is free.
Girl: If you don’t have enough money, you shouldn’t be going out on a date. You should be trying to find a job.
Dad: Can I get an “AMEN” to that!
Boy: I have $10.22 saved up. That’s enough for a milkshake.
Girl: That’s for only one date.
Boy: So? We don’t have to go for more dates. How much kissing do you think we can do?
Dad: Okay, where are you going to find a girlfriend who only wants to go on one date?
Boy: I’ll go on the internet... to a dating site.
Dad: You have to be 18 to use those.
Boy: Nope. Only 16.
Dad: Who told you that?
Boy: The guys at Cub Scouts.
Girl: I wondered what those boys did there.
Dad: So you learned about internet dating from a bunch of 9-year olds?
Boy: There was one boy that was 10.
Dad: I see. At least he had some credentials. Did this paragon of wisdom mention how to go about finding a girlfriend on the dating sites?
Boy: Yep. He said you have to look at all the girls and see which ones you like best. Then you ask them for a date.
Girl: What if they say no?
Boy: Anyway, I’m not gonna to do it that way.
Dad: Good. I think that is a wise decision.
Boy: Yeah. I’m just gonna put my face on there and wait till they come to me.